New TV Status Update

It’s basically premiere week this week on television. Practically everything is starting, so my plate is full with trying to catch up on it all. Already, it’s Tuesday and I have three shows leftover to watch. But fear not, gentle reader, come this weekend I will have reviews of all of them.

For some shows that premiered a few weeks ago, however, we have come to an impasse. The three weeks are up and it’s time to, proverbially, “sh-t or get off the pot.”  So it is so long, Guys with Kids, we barely knew ye, we never liked ye. And hello, Go On, you have earned your golden ticket, pass go, collect $200, and all that mixed metaphor stuff. You have gotten the coveted season pass on my Tivo.

And The New Normal? Well, I was intrigued by the first two episodes; then in the third episode, I was reminded that the showrunner was Ryan Murphy and that he has all the subtlety of herd of elephants, or a shotgun blast to the face, or a proselytizing writer who is high on his own rhetoric. There are better ways to talk about gay marriage than blasting me with thinly veiled speeches that seem better suited for a campaign trail. The sitcom, in its purest form, is supposed to be art, not a soapbox. (For a good way to see gay couples portrayed, re: Modern Family). The fourth episode, the one that aired last night, was even worse. So, in the loud, clomping footsteps of Glee and Nip/Tuck before it, The New Normal goes down as a Ryan Murphy show I will not be tuning in each week to watch. Sad. I had relatively, um, not high, but decent hopes.

So, that’s that. Tune in this weekend for more on the new season. I’ll be talking about The Mindy Project, Ben and Kate, Vegas, Partners, Animal Practice, The Neighbors, Last Resort, Elementary, and Made in Jersey. Whew, I’m tired just writing that. Let’s hope it’s not as tiring to watch them all.

Happy viewing!

-Mary

Emmy Tidbits

The Emmy nominations were today, and for the most part, I’m whelmed. Because if you can be underwhelmed and overwhelmed, you should be able to be whelmed.

I’m quite happy with the comedy writing noms (Yay, “Remedial Chaos Theory,”) And I’m very pleased to see Breaking Bad rack up some recognition, especially for Gus and Jesse, but also, Parks, Louie and Community should have gotten more love. But, oh well. I need to learn to live with disappointment. I’m already trying to resign myself to the idea that Modern Family will probably win some things even though they are the worst. Hrumph.

Out of everything, though, my favorite piece of trivia that I have learned about these nominations is this:

For the first time since 2006, The Office wasn’t nominated for anything. At all.

Yup. It’s the end of an era, folks. So many shows started around the same time as The Office: Grey’s Anatomy, Lost, How I Met Your Mother, House, 30 Rock. I feel like a lot of my college and post-college years were built around these shows. And now, that chapter is closing, or has closed in some cases. It’s a little sad, but also exciting. The great thing about television is that there is always something new to obsess over just around the corner, and I for one cannot wait for for the next batch of shows that should be taking their places any month now.

Here’s looking to September to see how all this news turns out, both for the Emmys and the new freshman crop.

Happy viewing!
-Mary

Pre-lab Prep: My Hopes for Breaking Bad Season 5

Well, as some of you may know, and all of you should know, the fifth and final season of Breaking Bad starts today. This is perhaps one of the best shows ever. Period. If you haven’t seen it, and you love TV (which, if you’re reading this, you obviously do), you must needs watch this show. I have yet to meet someone who hates it. Sure, they think it’s gross, tough, pessimistic and sometimes hard to watch, but no one denies that it’s an epic piece of art. It’s that good.

With that said, I’ve been rewatching the first four seasons of the show in preparation for tonight’s premiere. It’s been a wild ride, not only because there were a lot of things I had forgotten about, but also because you can see the little hints even at the beginning that lead up to where we are now. And, upon second viewing, I have a few predictions for this last season.

So, here they are. I’m going to say right off the bat, I know nothing about what is going to happen this season. These are just speculations. And most likely, I’m going to be wrong about everything because this show has the uncanny ability to surprise me.  However, if I’m right, I will gloat about it as much as possible. Either way, you can’t blame me for spoilers. These cannot be misconstrued as that.

1. Jesse will find out about Walt poisoning Brock – This is kind of a gimme. Of course, he will find out. Jesse keeps getting smarter while Walt keeps getting dumber, so ergo…  If, for some reason, this doesn’t happen, then I say Jesse finds out about Walt’s involvement with Jane’s death. Walt almost spilled the beans in “The Fly,” so it’s not out of the realm of possibility for the truth to finally came out.

2. The conflict of the season becomes a war between Walt and Jesse – Season four officially rid us of many big bads. The cartel is gone. Gus is gone. So where’s the conflict? Yes, the DEA is always a looming threat, but for my money, Walt v. Jesse will be the main conflict of the final season, especially if I’m right about prediction #1. The two characters have had their blows in the past, like last season’s epic fist fight, but they’ve always been relatively loyal to each other. How exciting would it be if this partnership truly dissolved and they went at each other for real? Imagine Walt’s cold logic and egomania coming up against Jesse’s keen instincts and ultimate morality. I’m excited just thinking about it.

3. Hank is the one to catch Walt – There’s a point in season four, when Hank thinks that Dale was Heisenberg, where Hank laments not catching the guy himself. He mentions that he wanted to be Popeye Doyle, and get the guy on his own. Well, I surmise that he’s going to get his wish. Whether he figures it out himself (which would be awesome) or Walt confesses to him (also awesome), I’d put money on Hank being the one to finally bring the great Heisenberg down.

4. Walt takes the blame for everything to save Jesse – At its core, the key relationship of the show has been between Walt and Jesse, the dynamics of which have driven the show forward. I would expect that if shit went down, Walt would protect Jesse, like a father protecting his son. Even if this season puts the two at odds, this would reconcile things. And it would be Walt’s legacy, the indication that he hasn’t been completely corrupted by his actions. It would mean redemption, which is something Walt certainly needs to strive for.

5. Junior gets hurt/killed – How has this not happened yet? Honestly? Hank has ended up in the hospital multiple times. Jesse has been beaten up at least once a season. And practically everyone who is/was close to Jesse has gotten into some kind of trouble (Jane/Brock/Combo). But Walt’s immediate family has stayed safe. It seems to me that this is just tempting fate. Walt said that he has has the shadow of death looming over him since his diagnosis, but I’m not sure that necessarily means his own. The threats are eventually going to become real, and I think Walt’s son, the person who Walt has been doing all this for, will be the victim. I hope I’m wrong here, but I’ve got a feeling in my gut that I’m not.

6. Someone important dies – Well, duh, you say. And I agree. It has to happen. There’s no way we are going to come out of this without a painful, gut-wrenching loss. That would be too easy, and this show is not easy by any means. Junior is my obvious choice, but my money is also on Skyler or Marie. Or, hell, it could be Jesse, which would thoroughly break my heart. Or it could be Walt himself. The cancer could come back and take him out the way he hoped to go. Or he could pull a Sydney Carton and do the “far, far better thing.” (That would support my #4 prediction, at least). But who knows, really? All I know is that I expect to cry at least once before it’s all said and done. And I’m kind of looking forward to it.

7. I have a heart attack from the stress of the season – This isn’t an actual possibility, except if I keep making my own butter (that stuff is like meth), but never have I experienced a show that is so intense. Even rewatching, when I know exactly what’s going to happen, has caused my blood pressure to rise. So, I expect that this season will be no different in terms of stress. At least my nails won’t be able to grow to long. So there’s that.

Well, we’ll see, won’t we? I do realize that I won’t know if I’m right about these for another year because of the way the final season is being broken up, but no matter. I’m still super excited for tonight. I cannot wait to be sucked into this world all over again!!

Got opinions of your own? Let me know in the comments.

An Ode to Aaron Sorkin

The Newsroom starts tonight, and, despite some middling reviews, I’m still rather excited. The trailer for the show shows some classic Aaron Sorkin writing, and really it’s been far too long since Sorkin has been on television. Even Studio 60 had better moments than you get on most TV shows, (hello, the pilot is pretty impressive) so I’m holding out hope for this new offering.

In honor of this new show, I’ve decided to count down the top five best Sorkinesque TV moments of the past. Other sites have done the best Sorkin characters or episodes, but for me, it’s really certain scenes, certain lines, that define what a great television maker this guy is. He’s a wordsmith, a writer of great speeches, great banter and brilliant wordplay. As a language lover myself, it’s a joy to watch.

So, with that in mind: Here – we – go!

5. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip – “Pilot” – Wes Mendell has a Network moment

Aaron Sorkin has a knack for saying things that you’ve been thinking but never had the mental acumen to put together so intelligently. Some people hate how he uses his shows as a pulpit, but I admire it. If somebody has the attention of millions of people, I’m glad it’s someone with a quick mind and a sharp tongue.

Wes: Ah, this is not going to be a very good show tonight. And I think you should change the channel. Change the channel, go on, right now… or better yet, turn off the TV, okay? No, I know it seems like this is supposed to be funny, but tomorrow you’re gonna find out that it wasn’t and by that time I’ll have been fired. No, this is… this is not… this is not a sketch. This show used to be cutting edge political and social satire, but it’s gotten lobotomized by a candy-ass broadcast network hell-bent on doing nothing that might challenge their audience. We’re about to do a sketch that you’ve seen already about 500 times. Yeah, no one’s gonna confuse George Bush with George Plimpton. Yeah, we get it. We’re all being lobotomized by this country’s most influential industry that’s just throwing in the towel on any endeavor to do anything that doesn’t include the courting of 12 year old boys. And not even the smart 12 year olds. The stupid ones. The idiots. Which there are plenty, thanks in no small measure to this network, so why don’t you just change the channel? Turn off your TVs, do it right now, go ahead…. A struggle between art and commerce. Well, there’s always been a struggle between art and commerce. And now I’m telling you art is getting its ass kicked. And it’s making us mean, and it’s making us bitchy. It’s making us cheap punks. That’s not who we are! People are having contests to see how much they can be like Donald Trump?… We’re eating worms for money. Who wants to screw my sister? Guys are getting killed in a war that’s got theme music and a logo? That remote in your hand is a crack pipe. [monitors] Oh yeah, every once in a while we pretend to be appalled…. Pornographers! It’s not even good pornography. They’re just this side of snuff films. And friends, that’s what’s next because that’s all that’s left. And the two things that make them scared gutless are the FCC and every psycho religious cult that gets positively horny at the very mention of a boycott. These are the people they’re afraid of – this prissy, feckless, off-the-charts, greed-filled whorehouse of a network. And you’re watching this thoroughly unpatriotic Mother-

Cal: Go to VTR, now!

4. The West Wing – “Game On” – Jed Bartlet kicks his debate skills up a notch

Sometimes I wish Jed Bartlett were real. Not to get too political, but the way he tries so hard to be noble and just as President is something I wish were a reality in this day and age. And I truly wish that the American public used this model for their choice of President.

Bartlet: There it is. That’s the ten word answer my staff’s been looking for for two weeks. There it is. Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns. They’re the tip of the sword. Here’s my question: What are the next ten words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine. Give me the next ten words. How are we going to do it? Give me ten after that, I’ll drop out of the race right now. Every once in a while… every once in a while, there’s a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren’t very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that’s way too big for ten words. I’m the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.

3. The West Wing “The Midterms” – Jed Bartlet doesn’t tolerate ignorance

If there is one thing I hate, it’s ignorance. If someone disagrees with me and can defend their view with intelligence, I’m all for it. But if their disagreement stems from a basic misunderstanding of truths, I’m done. And I wish I had the brilliance to take them down the way Bartlet takes down this bigoted radio personality.

President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important ’cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

3. Sports Night – “The Apology” – Dan Rydell apologizes to his brother

This speech is just plain moving. It doesn’t have any of the proselytizing that some of the other speeches I’ve chosen have, but it goes to the heart of the subject. And Josh Charles is just great in this moment.

“I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam’s a genius. I mean, literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He’s energetic and articulate, curious and funny. A great source of pride to our parents. And there’s no doubt that he’d be living a great life right now, except for that he’s dead. Because when you’re fourteen years old, all you ever really wanna be when you grow up is your sixteen-year-old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver’s license. And he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends. Drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran. And he probably never saw the eighteen-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank, either.
[long pause]
That was eleven years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say… I’m sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands. And I apologize.

1. The West Wing “Two Cathedrals” Jed Bartlett yells at God

Thinking about this scene makes me tear up a little. “Two Cathedrals” is one of the best episodes of television ever. Hands down. And this speech, with the thunder in the background, breaks my heart. Martin Sheen is awe-inspiring in it, and I think I can safely say that it’s one of the greatest things that Aaron Sorkin has ever written.

“You’re a son of a bitch, You know that? She bought her first new car and You hit her with a drunk driver. What? Was that supposed to be funny? “You can’t conceive, nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God,” says Graham Greene. I don’t know whose ass he was kissing there, ’cause I think You’re just vindictive. What was Josh Lyman – a warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to Yours but praise His glory and praise His Name? There’s a tropical storm that’s gaining speed and power. They say we haven’t had a storm this bad since You took out that tender ship of mine in the North Atlantic last year. Sixty-eight crew. You know what a tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. It doesn’t even carry guns. It just goes around, fixes the other ships and delivers the mail. That’s all it can do. Gratias tibi ago, Domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. I’ve committed many sins. Have I displeased You, You feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs, that wasn’t good?
[scoffs]
Bailed out Mexico. Increased foreign trade. Thirty million new acres of land for conservation. Put Mendoza on the bench. We’re not fighting a war. I’ve raised three children. That’s not enough to buy me out of the doghouse? Haec credam a Deo pio, a Deo iusto, a Deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem. Trus in terra servus, nuntius fui, officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.
[Deliberately lights a cigarette and grinds it out on the Cathedral floor]

You get Hoynes.

Am I becoming one-note?

I sometimes feel that I go on about the same things all the time. But, whatever. The things I like are the things I like. And this video right here falls squarely in the like column. It also goes along with my post a few weeks ago about my favorite music of the year on TV shows. Someone was of the same mind as me, and put this little cut together, highlighting all the times Community used “Daybreak” by Michael Haggins.  Enjoy!!

Get Excited!!

Beware the Ides of July! It can’t come soon enough!

Bizarro-world

I had a dream last night that Rory Gilmore had sex with Connor (from Angel). Wait, no! That was real!!

For Your Consideration: Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23

There was a lot of talk last September about the new rash of gross-out, female-driven comedies. With the premieres of Whitney and 2 Broke Girls, television critics jumped on the bandwagon and started wondering if women should be so crude. Can we joke about our vaginas and still be ladies? My answer for the two aforementioned shows is, no, they cannot. And it’s not because vaginas aren’t funny. They’re hilarious. But Whitney and 2 Broke Girls just weren’t funny, gross-out vagina jokes or no.

That brings us to six months later and the premiere of Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23. I’m not sure how much people are going to talk about it, but it’s awfully dirty. The difference is it’s also rather funny. While Whitney Cummings or Kat Dennings use their crude jokes in an aggressive, almost malicious way, usually to keep people from liking them, Krysten Ritter, the titular B–––, is gross in such a natural, partly unconscious way that it’s funny and not nearly as offensive as on the other shows. She’s got a dirty mouth because that’s just the way she talks; she’s not flaunting it or even drawing attention to it. It’s almost, well, likable, and that’s a quality sorely missing elsewhere.

It’s this unexpected likabilty that saves/sells this show for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are some problems with the pilot and more pronouncedly with the second episode, which is available online here. The secondary characters, ie. the neighbors, Robin and Eli, are horribly caricatural. The pacing of the first half of the pilot is a bit jarring and precipitous. And the show is so clearly filmed in LA that it’s almost a joke in itself. However, there’s a spark. A twistedness. An surreal audacity that makes me smile. (Just look at the first scene of the show and tell me it’s not bold). And if a sitcom can have that after two episodes, it’s got something going for it.

The show centers around June (Dreama Weaver), a wide-eyed (literally) optimist who comes to New York City with grand plans of success at a mortgage firm and happiness with her grad-student fiancé. Within minutes, the mortgage firm goes belly-up – the CEO has been embezzling for years – and June is left jobless, prospectless and homeless (the apartment was a company building, which was seized by the government). Really, it sounds like the opening scenes of a romantic comedy, and in the movie version, June would be played by Katherine Heigl, complete with a fake tan and an impossibly expensive wardrobe. But thankfully, instead of meeting Mr. Right, who at first appears to be Mr. Wrong, but then ends up being perfect, June meets Chloe (Krysten Ritter), and the main plot of the show takes off.

Chloe, as I said before, is the bitch in apartment 23, and she’s a straight-up sociopath. For years apparently, she’s been luring unsuspecting women into her apartment, and rather than murdering them like most sociopaths, she drives them crazy to the point that they forfeit their rent/security, and she gets some cash in hand. I’m not sure if that actually works, I mean, in the real world, wouldn’t she have to give back at least some of the money, but as a concept, it’s pretty ingenius. She gets more than she bargains for in June, however, and, as you would expect, a TV show develops. June fights back, selling Chloe’s stuff to the neighbors; then the two bond as they try to get said stuff back. June reveals a darker side which surprises Chloe, and she’s, as she says in the show, not easily surprised.

The pilot also deals with the business of June’s fiancé, who is cheating on June, though June won’t believe Chloe when she tells her. To prove her point, in the worst possible way, Chloe seduces the fiancé and lets June discover them in flagranté, on June’s birthday cake. I call this element of the pilot “business” because it really isn’t the crux of the show, and, in fact, in the second episode, they move past it pretty quickly. It’s more of means to an end to bond Chloe and June even more. The show pivots on the budding friendship of the optimist and the sociopath, so once you know that Chloe has June’s back, you’ve tapped the essence of the show.

And it really is this dynamic between the two lead characters that makes the show work. June is not nearly as nice as she wants to be, and Chloe is not nearly as evil as everyone thinks she is. June is like Community‘s Shirley Bennett, all optimism and smiles, until you cross her the wrong way. And Chloe is a female Jeff Winger, all ego and walls, but with a heart deep down inside. As Dawson says, “She may have the morals of a pirate, but she would do anything for her friends.”

There’s also great chemistry between the two actors, something which I thought was missing on the similarly plotted 2 Broke Girls. They have a very Oscar and Felix repartee, which keeps the pace of the show nicely on point. It’s also fun to see both actors in different roles than they usually play. It wasn’t long ago that Dream Weaver was the cutthroat girlfriend of the son on The Good Wife and Krysten Ritter was the manic pixie dream girl who wore short skirts on Veronica Mars and shot heroin on Breaking Bad. Seeing them on Apartment 23, they are really well cast, even though it’s such a departure from their previous work.

Finally, I can’t finish this review without mentioning James Van Der Beek. In a move akin to Matt LeBlanc on Episodes, Van Der Beek plays himself, or a perverted, interpreted, Ricky Gervais’s Extras-type version of himself. And it’s hilarious. Probably, at this point, he’s the best part of the show, even if you have to negotiate for the flannel shirt. He’s definitely the best part of the second episode. And if you only watch for him, that’s okay. At least you’re watching the show, one which, I think, displays a lot of potential to become appointment viewing. I’m definitely in.

Pilot: Grade: B+
Daddy’s Girl 2: Grade B

PS. I’m not sure how this show, with all it’s perverted, dark humor, is going to play with Suburgatory and Modern Family, both of which are bright, shiny, happy, family-friendly fare. I’m don’t think the audience that likes Manny is going to warm up to a snarky James Van Der Beek. However, fans of Happy Endings, the show which had this time slot before, should appreciate it.  Here’s hoping it finds an audience.

PPS. I watched these episodes on hulu, and in that version of the pilot, June makes a comment about writing a rap at Christian camp called “Jesus is my n-word.” That was changed for the regular airing. I guess bitch isn’t the only word they have problems with.

Aaron Sorkin saves my summer!!

Ever since I heard that this was happening, I’ve been excited. Sports Nights and The West Wing are two of my favorite shows of all time. I think I held my breath the entire time I watched this, just in anticipation. The opening clip was so f-king perfect!! Suck it summer hiatus, I can’t wait until June!! (The 24th, to be exact.)

 

 

The Impression That I Get…: NBC’s Awake

In the next few weeks, there are some midseason replacement shows that are premiering.  Rather than waiting until the weekly review, I thought I would do a first impressions post.  In general, I give a show three episodes to impress me. Sometimes the show gets cancelled before then (RIP Lone Star, I loved you once). Sometimes the show is so horrible, I never want to go back after the first episode (Whitney, I’m looking at you).

This week, we have a new show on NBC called Awake.  Before watching it, I thought the premise was intriguing and the cast pretty impressive (minus Wilmer Valderrama, who I can’t take seriously no matter how many legit shows he guests on).  But it’s also on NBC, so it has a high probability of being a load of crap.